Dr. Pressman | Why your relationship with your baby takes work
Aliza’s Tips for Connecting:
1. You won’t always connect, and that’s okay!
2. Take notice and try to learn baby’s cues
3. Keep at it and connection will happen
When you have this new baby come home, your whole job is to get to know each other, really start to understand how to dance. And that dance between you and your baby, you're together, you're attuned with each other, you're understanding each other. And if you don't, which you won't all the time, you'll be misaligned.
Just take a beat and try to watch what are the patterns that I see. How do I hear different cries and different sounds and what facial expressions or what year tugs, what, what's going on, when different things are a need. And over time you get your infant's cues and what they're trying to say to you if their back is arched, if they're looking away, maybe that means they need a break or they're uncomfortable. If they're engaging with you and trying to get your eye contact by making sounds and cooing, look at that baby in the eyes and say to them, “I would love to hear from you. I'm here to listen and let's have a conversation, a back and forth beautiful interaction.” So that dance takes time to develop and sometimes it feels so natural and other times you really have to work at it.
And in those moments where you feel like we're not connecting, just look into your baby's eyes if they're interested because they need to join you. It has to be a, it's a two person dance. Look into your baby's eyes and just let them know, I'm just trying to figure this out with you. We're going to get there. Let me try and figure out what you need right now. And sometimes just seeing your baby can lift you and give you that boost that you need and that attitude and vibe that you need to connect with each other.