After my water broke 16 weeks into my second pregnancy, doctors told me that I was going to lose my daughter and forced me on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy.

But my daughter Asha showed us with every scan that she was a fighter, who would not take no for an answer. She persisted on hope and everyone’s prayers until 38 weeks, when she arrived beautiful and healthy.

During our bed rest, we really got to know each other. I told Asha everything I could think of, read her stories, and shared jokes. I noticed she would kick more after Indian food. But we really hit it off after her birth.

It was atypical for me, a workaholic entrepreneur CEO, to take maternity leave to bond and be together. When I had my son Zane in 2010, I was running one of the fastest growing businesses in America as the Founder & CEO of Happy Baby Organics. After only 10 days of maternity leave—not nearly enough time to recover from a c-section—I had to jump right back into the fray of building my business, with my breast pump in tow.

At age two, Zane was diagnosed with autism. This set in motion deep research about creating the optimal conditions for a healthy pregnancy and connected baby, all of which I used to inform my second pregnancy and eventually, HealthyBaby. So when I had Asha in 2016 after an IVF marathon, I decided to take a full three months off to rest, recover, and connect with my miracle baby.

Here are a few things that I advise every new parent to consider in those early days of connecting with baby.

1. First, focus on yourself

Distractions are everywhere, and we often forget to ground ourselves before connecting with baby, so we can be fully present. I like to focus on two things to ground myself: my breath and gratitude. There are so many great breathing exercises. I like “box breathing": Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, breathe out for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, repeat. For gratitude, I like to think of the prompt, “I am so thankful that my baby…” and fill in the blank.

2. Development is not a race!

Your child's development is not about reaching end points, because your baby is never finished growing. When you do away with hard and fast milestones and start to see development as a process of flow, you and baby can more readily engage in meaningful connections that are the basis for true development.

3. Let go, get goofy, have fun, and narrate, narrate, narrate

Brain-building play doesn't require toys or distracting things. In fact, these can often get in the way of genuine connection and creative thinking. Brain development can be as simple as sustaining eye contact, a conversation with goofy faces, narrating what you’re doing, a light massage, or a belly laugh while rolling on the floor together. Think about simplifying your baby's play options and reducing objects around your home to amplify human connections.

4. Baby's routine is the framework for connection

Between diaper changes, baths, meals, naps, and bedtime, your daily routine is full of mini opportunities to integrate moments of meaningful connection. It turns out that moments of routine are perfect to introduce stimulation and novelty, because these patterns are ones that your baby likes and expects. When baby feels safest to explore something new, they’re more open to learning. At HealthyBaby, we've designed an entire program that pair the very safest diapers with enriching activities.

5. Be intentional with your cell phone

Your baby might be nearby while you're reading this article on your phone. You might even be holding them. I know it’s nearly impossible to put our phones down, but they diminish high quality connection and can break down natural “serve and return” responses between you and baby.

According to the Harvard Center on the Developing Child, “serve and return” interactions with you are critical for deep connectivity between neurons in baby’s early brain development. When your attention is directed at your phone, your attunement to your child diminishes in the moment. Try your best to use your phone intentionally and set it down when it’s time to connect and play.

Remember, baby's obsessed with you. They want you to be attuned to them, and if they’re always seeing your face engrossed with that shiny phone, it could send a subtle message that the phone is sometimes more important, when of course you’re likely looking at something that will help them. We all do this, but it never hurts to be more mindful of it.

6. Listen to advice that serves you and throw out the rest

Nothing can disconnect you faster than the constant barrage of parenting information and advice. Advice often comes as a one-sided opinion based on one person's experience, when in reality, there is never one right way to parent. With all advice, including mine, understand that you have options and should choose what feels right for you.

7. Get rid of guilt

Our awareness of the importance of the early years of our child’s development sometimes leads to a heavy dose of self-imposed guilt. Is baby eating the right food? Am I playing with baby properly? Am I using the right laundry detergent? So many questions.

But guilt doesn’t serve us in the end. If anything, it’s just another barrier to connecting. I like to remind myself that there’s no perfect way to parent; children are resilient, adaptable and forgiving; and every day is a new chance to build a stronger bond with baby.