One day you're bringing a tiny person home from the hospital. The next day you're dropping them off at daycare, preschool, or kindergarten for the first time!

Transitioning your child to a structured weekday schedule is full of emotions, logistics, and learning curves. Keep reading for research-backed answers to the toughest questions about starting daycare and school.

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What should I ask during daycare/school orientation?

Orientation is the time to get all the day-to-day information you need to 1) adequately prepare your kiddo, and 2) feel comfortable dropping them off. You can ask about schedules, school policies, discipline approaches, communication, emergency plans, drop-off and pick-up… This is also a good time to flag any allergies, special needs, or concerns you have with your child's teacher.

This won’t be your last opportunity to communicate with the daycare/school. There should be a regular line of communication between parents and teachers, and parent-teacher conferences are usually held in fall and spring.

What’s the best way to prepare my child for starting daycare/school?

Toddlers and preschoolers don’t have a strong grasp of time, so once you talk about starting school, they may expect to go imminently. But you don’t want to wait until the last minute to discuss this big transition, either. Prepare with a slow rollout.

1-2 months before: Casually explain to your child that daycare/school is a place to play and make new friends. If it’s convenient, you might even point out the building and talk about what goes on inside.

2 weeks before: Read picture books about school to introduce your kiddo to the set-up and routines. Depending on your child’s age, you can relate different aspects of the book to their upcoming experience. For example: “See how the kids are all sitting in a circle on the rug? This is how they learn together at school.” If books explore feelings like nervousness, this is a natural time to talk about how your child’s feeling about going to daycare/school. Validate any trepidation they share and reassure them.

1 week before: If starting daycare/school requires a change to your kiddo's current bedtime or wakeup routine, spend the week before getting on this new schedule. Being sleepy the first morning can make an emotional day even more difficult.

The night before: Run your child through the exciting day they’re going to have at daycare/school tomorrow. Keep explanations simple and focus on the drop-off and pick-up plan, reassuring them that you’ll return.

The start of daycare/school is a big day for you, too! Prepare as much as you can the night before. Lay out clothes, pack the backpack, fill the water bottle, and plan lunch. This will allow you to focus on emotionally supporting your child that first morning.

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How long will it take my kid to settle in at daycare/school?

Adjustment time varies by child. Some little ones settle in within a few days. Others take weeks. This is a big transition for you and your kiddo. Take one day at a time.

The sooner you can make this new normal feel like a safe, predictable routine, the better. As much as you can, try to avoid introducing other big changes, like getting a new babysitter or moving, at the start of daycare/school.

How should I handle crying during drop-off?

Tears happen, and you’ll likely shed some of your own. Keep drop-off short and supportive. Calmly hug your kiddo goodbye and reassure them that you (or someone else they know and trust) will be back soon to pick them up. Your child’s teacher may assist with this transition, so follow their lead.

Ideally, you’ll save your tears for after drop-off. Big changes bring up big feelings. You might experience a mixture of wistfulness, pride, worry, and maybe even a little freedom as you leave your child at daycare/school. It's all valid. You and little one are growing up!

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My daughter’s shy. How can I encourage her to make friends?

Ask your child about their classmates and how they play together. If you spot these kids with a parent during pick-up or drop-off, you can encourage your kiddo to say hello or introduce yourself and your little one to their parent. 

Everything you do in front of your child is modeling. Even if kids don't follow adults’ lead, they’re paying attention. Consider what your child’s learning from you about sharing, engaging with others, and going into social situations with people they may not know very well.

Is there any way to avoid all the daycare illnesses?

Think of daycare illnesses as part of your kiddo's immune system education. They’re going to happen, but will eventually taper off. (Eventually! As in, it could take awhile. Best to stock up on hand sanitizer.)

You can’t control what your child does when they’re at daycare, but try to teach, reinforce, and model these healthy habits at home:

• Washing hands with soap, especially before eating, after using the bathroom, and after handling shared items, like playground equipment and toys.
  
  
• Covering their mouth when they sneeze or cough.
  
  
• Keeping hands to themselves and fingers (and small items) out of their mouth, nose, and eyes.
  
  
• Not drinking or eating from the same cups, water bottles, bowls, and utensils as others.
  
  
• Wiping down items that come from school, as well as germy areas at home, like doorknobs, banisters, light switches, etc. 

Do I have to keep all the artwork my kid brings home?

Absolutely not. Trust us, there’s much more where that came from! :)

Help! My kid picked up some bad habits at school. How should I deal?

It won't be long before your kiddo's using unfamiliar words or phrases, testing new boundaries, and showing off skills they learned at daycare/school. This is a sign of observation and listening skills and social development. That said, some of these new habits can be annoying or even inappropriate. 

Calmly address bad behavior immediately after it occurs. Try to connect with your child before correcting them. Get on their level, make eye contact, and calmly address and redirect the behavior. For example, "You're talking very loudly, and the library is a quiet place. If you want to keep looking at books, you have to whisper. Can you show me how you whisper?"

If you're concerned about behavior that's clearly inappropriate or dangerous, talk to your child's teachers about your concerns.