3-min read
The holiday season is a time of joy, celebration, and connection, but for families with young children, it can also be overwhelming. Travel, large family gatherings, and disrupted routines, can quickly turn holiday cheer into stress—for little ones and parents.
Setting boundaries during the holidays isn’t about saying “no” to family or traditions. It’s about saying “yes” to what works best for your family’s health and happiness. And that's all your loved ones want for you anyway, right?
Here are three simple steps to help you establish and communicate boundaries that create a balanced and joyful holiday.
1. Know your family's needs and prioritize them.
Before diving into holiday plans, take a moment to reflect on the needs of each member of your family.
- Does your baby struggle without a consistent nap schedule?
- Is your toddler easily overstimulated?
- Are you an introvert who thrives on smaller, shorter gatherings vs. all-day extended family marathons?
- Is your partner working remotely or stressed about travel?
Considering these needs will help you make holiday decisions that align with your family's well-being, so you can celebrate in a way that feels joyful, manageable, and true to your values.
2. Communicate boundaries clearly, kindly, and as early as possible.
Setting boundaries is only effective if they’re clearly communicated. Doing so with kindness ensures they’re well-received. Most loved ones will respect your choices when they understand your perspective.
Be upfront about what your family needs to stay healthy and happy during the holidays. Use “I” or "we" statements to keep the conversation focused on these needs, rather than framing it as a criticism of a loved one's plans. For example, “We’d love to come to dinner, but we’ll need to leave by 8 PM at the latest to stick to the kids’ bedtime routine.”
If you’re staying with family or friends, be specific about how your host can best accommodate you. Babies notoriously require a lot of gear. Talk to your host in advance about the space you'll need and what you'll bring. If staying at a hotel, driving in for the day, or just celebrating at your own home feels like the best option, that's okay, too.
Try to communicate your holiday plans early with family and friends to manage expectations. This gives everyone the space to be more flexible. If an event conflicts with your child's schedule, there might be wiggle room in the timing. If you have to decline one invitation, you can suggest an alternative.
3. Build in time for rest and flexibility.
We don't get nearly enough time off to spend with our loved ones. Your impulse might be to pack the holidays with as much activity as possible, but too much of a good thing can be exhausting. Try to intentionally build downtime into your schedule. A quiet morning at home before the festivities or an midday nap can help parents and kids recharge.
Flexibility is also important. Travel, recipes, and activities don't always work out perfectly. Sometime the hijinks become the best memories! Allowing space for adjustment helps keep stress levels low and allows you to embrace the joys of the season, even amid the chaos. A little planning ahead, like packing extra snacks or leaving just a little bit earlier for the airport, can go a long way.
